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Torah

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An Attitude of Gratitude: the Key to Happiness

By: Mrs. Sarah Leah Haber

PrintPrint this Shiur




Aharon the Kohen Gadol was upset. He saw all the princes bringing karbanot and felt bad that neither he nor his tribe were among them. Hashem comforted him by telling him that his Divine service will be of greater importance than theirs for he will light and prepare the lamps of the menorah.

The Ramban comments that Hashem's reassurance to Aharon is strangely specific. Afterall, the Kohen Gadol is responsible for many important activities- burning incense, bringing karbanot etc.- and if it's the priesthood as a whole that is meant to comfort him, why is one service- the menorah lighting- specified? Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz in Sichot Mussar explains that the lighting of the menorah was not intended to represent the service of the Kohen Gadol in general but that it had its own special significance.

The Midrash Rabbah (Bamidbar Rabbah 15:5) describes a conversation between Bnei Yisrael and Hashem. The nation asks, "Why do you ask us to give light before you through the menorah; are You not the light of the world?" Hashem explains that He does not require our light but rather the purpose of the menorah is to illuminate before Him as He has illuminated before us. Thus the act of lighting is not just another form of Divine service, but rather an act that embodies hakarat hatov- gratitude. A person who receives kindness from another does not feel comfortable until he is able to acknowledge the kindness and perhaps in some way repay the giver. Hashem, from whom we have received more than from anyone else in the world, to whom we owe so much gratitude, has given us some way to offer a token repayment to him- by lighting the menorah . This ability to repay Hashem was what comforted Aharon for not participating actively in the inauguration of the Mishkan.

The Torah obligates us not only to feel gratitude towards the immediate giver but even to discern the circumstances which lead to the ability of the benefactor to give, and to be grateful for those as well. When Yitro's daughters thanked Moshe for saving them from the harassment of other shepherds, he replied, "It is the Egyptian whom I killed and on whose account I was subsequently forced to run away who saved you." (Shemot Rabbah 1:32) When the girls recounted the story to their father they told him that an Egyptian man had saved them, thus acknowledging and appreciating the unintentional role a dead man played in their lives.

This attention to detail, to uncovering layers of circumstances to appreciate, is not simply an obligation. It has a very important side benefit. R. Noach Weinberg explains that gratitude is the key to happiness. He suggests finding some things we are grateful for, establishing a set time to appreciate them, to feel the pleasure in having them and letting the depth of pleasure really sink in. He recommends focusing on things we take for granted- our eyes, our feet, our children, our cars- and contemplating every minute aspect of the pleasure they give us. We can pick one thing each day to notice; perhaps each family member can point out something at the Shabbat table. He says that we will be amazed at how powerful this very simple exercise is.

As the school year ends, opportunities to be grateful flourish. Parents are thrilled their children are home, safe and healthy. Children who have been counting the days are ecstatic to be home again. They appreciate the opportunities their parents gave them to spend time in Israel. However tensions may rise as everyone readjusts to their old environments and subtle changes are noted. At this point it is especially helpful for everyone to notice and appreciate positive experiences. Focusing on the things we should be grateful for instead of the annoyances will allow us all to find the happiness in life we all crave.,


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Additional shiurim from this
category can be found in:
Parshat Shavua (Behaalotcha)
Uploaded: Sunday, December 04, 2011

 

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